These are just some things that I’ve come to realize and believe as true during my 22 years…

1. You are constantly changing, evolving. You are not the same person that you were five years ago, and nor are you the person that you probably expected you would be. And that’s cool, embrace the reality of change. It’s okay to still be realizing who you are, or how you ought to live your life – you are not obligated to commit to one narrative. This won’t stop people, strangers, and loved ones alike, from trying to define who you are or determining how you ought to live. But this is your life, your script, and you alone can write it. Don’t allow anyone to hinder your growth!
2. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Just like you find exercises to keep up your physical health — you need some for your mental health.
3. Some activities you participate in for no good reason other than that they simply uplift your spirit. They center you; they stabilize you. They are good for your mental health. You don’t have to explain to people why you prioritize the things that bring you joy.
4. Self-love protects joy. Love yourself without apology.
5. You can’t demand care, respect, loyalty, or love from anyone. Don’t waste your energy forging a relationship that never should have begun at all because these things only have worth when they’re given freely; no strings attached.
6. Your friends aren’t perfect and they’ll make mistakes (although there is a huge difference between a mistake and just flat-out betrayal). Instead of letting bad blood fester in your relationship, communicate with your friends when you feel they’ve done wrong, work it out, and forgive them so you can move forward with your relationship.
7. No one thing, event, or person can be your whole world. There are so many things in this world and one life is simply not enough to experience them all.
8. Sometimes you’re the only one who can be there for yourself. These are wonderful times to withdraw and reflect. Don’t see this as punishment, but an opportunity to get to know yourself better.
9. You can be friendly to everyone, but not everyone is your friend. Not everyone deserves access to that level of intimacy. Practice discretion.
10. Men and/or boys who refer to women as females are always, and without question, trash. It doesn’t matter what follows afterwards. If you’re lucky enough to have a glimpse of his problematic mind BEFORE you start to fall for him, leave him alone. Don’t mess with trash. It only gets harder to do the right thing afterwards.
11. Vibes never lie. If you think s/he not feeling you, it’s because they aren’t. Trust your gut. S/he is not too shy to tell you how they feel. Besides, if s/he does like you and you can’t even tell, your communication is off anyway — it was bound to fail from the jump. 
12. You matter, but you’re not special. Be humble and know that every life has purpose.  
13. I used to say this all the time in high school, but somewhere along the way I forgot that: Sometimes you gotta leave people in their ignorance. It’ll save you a world of headache. Some people just don’t care much for learning about the things that you may be obsessed with/interested in so leave them be. You can’t fight or argue people into caring about things that you find important. Know when to reserve your opinions.
14. Shady people deliver strong messages. People are shady only when they don’t value you. End of story.
15. It’s important to have diverse groups of friends, but you also need relationships with like-minded people. There’s nothing like being with people who get you.
16. If your friends aren’t functioning like a support group, they aren’t your friends! You can’t spend your precious time and energy with people who don’t uplift you.
17. Even if you like to think you can do everything and anything, you can’t, if only for the fact that time is limited. You’ve got to be intentional about the way you spend your time and with whom you spend it. Nothing is worse than wasting time that could have been better spent elsewhere or with somebody else.
18. You can’t live your life according to some generic standard. Life isn’t some magic standard formula, and the things that make one person feel fulfilled and bring them happiness may not necessarily work for you. Life isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey, forge your own path! Develop your own standards; cultivate your own goals.
19. Every so often you should sit back and evaluate your life, ask yourself: Why am I doing this exactly? How is this adding to my life? Enriching me? Making me happy? Is this person adding to my life or only subtracting? 
20. Perfectionists aren’t just overachievers, they’re also underachievers — people too afraid to fail so they don’t try at all. In both cases, perfectionism is poison, it thrives on the fear of failure. 
21. Be Unapologetic: As a Black (Race) African (Ethnicity) American (Nationality) woman, I’ve come to realize that so many people will try to tell you who you are, without taking the time out to get to know you as an individual. I have come to a place where I don’t feel obligated to explain myself to anyone, and I refuse to feel guilty or sorry about that because it is not my job to disprove whatever stereotype someone has already constructed for me, nor will I feel pressured to assert myself as the type of black person you can respect. I no longer care for the unwarranted assumptions and judgements that people will go on to make about me. I am my own person, not your stereotype, and I don’t feel sorry about it.
22. Have Shame, Bless Up: It is absolutely okay to be ashamed of things you’ve said, done, and/or endorsed in the past. There are things you’ve done that you shouldn’t be proud of. It’s a sign that you’re growing, learning, and changing. Allow yourself to be disappointed in yourself and reflect on your actions. Too often we allow ourselves to develop reconstructive narratives meant to protect us from feeling shame, but we shouldn’t. We shouldn’t block our own growth. Feel it, and learn from it, so you can actually move on and do better in the future instead of repeating the same ‘ole mistakes.